Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
