whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So vagazzling was a success
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
