why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
