Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
