someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
