We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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