I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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