Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
