your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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