Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize