just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
