If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
