from now on my penis is your penis
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
