What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
