i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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