So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
