dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
