who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
