At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
