I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You need a sexual gate keeper
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
