he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
