ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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