dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
