Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How external is "for external use only"?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
pray to the hookup gods
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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