i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
