it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
