I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
