i will never coherently bang her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize