I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize