She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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