i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
