I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
