dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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