I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
