We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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