I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
