I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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