Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
