Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
