Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
