Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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