My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
