The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
