im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
