I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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