I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
