Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ketchup is God's man juice
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
