Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize