It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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