I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
