youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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