I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
