I'm going to jail i love you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
