I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
