that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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