is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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