i just google imaged poop.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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