I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
