Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
