The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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