Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
