Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
