capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Who died my cat blue again?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
