It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
