I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
