She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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