Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize