the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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