i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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