She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize