just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
