Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize