i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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