The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
