ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
