Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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