I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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