So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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