You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
