hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
