But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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