So drunk its hurt
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
